Harder Than It Looks

Although I was enamored of them for a time, cooking shows have lost their luster in my world.

I stopped watching Rachael Ray's 30-Minute Meals upon realizing I was spending 30-minutes learning to make a 30-minute meal. It seemed poor time management.

It's not that cooking shows aren't helpful. After all, I was only able to truly master the art of the omelet by watching Alton Brown's Good Eats. Who would have thought there are at least 7 steps to making the perfect omelet? Foregoing at least half of them does indeed make a difference. 

But in the end, the camera shots on Good Eats tweaked me ever so slightly. I bid farewell to Mr. Brown.

Giada DeLaurentiis' show, on the other hand, is surely the most sensuously filmed cooking show of all time. Yet, I found that, in the end, all Giada inspired me to do was watch Giada cook. Time management ceased to exist. It was with poignant regret that I bid farewell to her.

I would give much to spend time with Paula Dean in her outdoor kitchen, but the first time I saw her show I thought it was a spoof on cooking shows. The way Paula Dean pronounces pecan pie was a source of wonder for this mid-west girl. For the next 30-minutes I simply could not make myself stop trying to capture her drawl and inflection. And there I was yet again - guilty of poor time management. I bid farewell to Paula Dean.

But I've tremendous respect for these people. Have you ever tried to keep a smile on your face for 30-minutes while running a solo conversation and cooking? It's much harder than it looks. I know this to be true because I tried it yesterday while making my Thanksgiving cupcakes and my cranberry sauce.

Here I am a speaker, a consummate multi-tasker, and no stranger to the kitchen. Between all that and the innate uppish-ness I usually work hard at keeping in check, I've often thought perhaps I should host my own cooking show.

But all I can say now is thank goodness I was cooking something that didn't require the use of a knife. Otherwise, I'd be hunting and pecking at my keyboard today with less than the usual number of digits.

As it was I dripped chocolate down my shirt, knocked one bowl off the counter, added salt twice, and forgot my train of thought more than once. And never was I the least bit witty. As a matter of fact sometimes I just couldn't think of a thing to say beyond the obvious, "Fill the cupcake wrappers 3/4 full" or "Stir occasionally til the berries pop".

Alas, I realized hosting my own cooking show was a mere pipe dream. And as I really do not have the many spare moments this post implies, I stopped with the foolishness, turned on some Lucinda Williams tunes and began my coleslaw. It's the one with the secret ingredient - which I may have gleamed from an episode of Rachael Ray.

Anyway...Gobble On! 

The picture you see above is one of my Thanksgiving tables for this season. Ever fond of the eclectic, Thanksgiving usually finds us eating from antique china platters - all of which are different. They don't lead to gluttony but they are bigger than dinner plates and perfect for those among us happiest when their menu items are not touching one another.

And, here's a tip for those who, like me, cannot count flower arranging among their skills. Anyone can arrange a few flowers in antique salt and pepper shakers.