Things I've Recently Learned

I'm always actively searching for knowledge - the kind usually uncovered by a diligent search of cyberspace and of the world's libraries. However, sometimes bits of useful knowledge simply fall haphazardly into your lap. This morning I'm compelled to share with you bits tossed my way in these recent times.

1. If you squeeze a lemon with the cut side up, you'll avoid seeds falling into your glass or cup.

2. There's no need to worry about our relentless use of technology making our eyes bulge and forever changing our cervical and lumbar curves.

This one requires an explanation.

We always hear how much larger we were by the 20th century, as compared to our Victorian ancestors. It occurred to me one day that if such a shift could occur in a relatively short period of time, then the fact we're endlessly glued to our phones and computers, etc. could, conceivably, be wrecking changes upon our bodies even as we are busily texting and emailing one another.

But, according to David Southall (Curator of Education for the Collier History Museum), we grew in size due to advances in nutrition and sanitation. Railroads helped because the ease of travel expanded our gene pool. There was no real evolutionary advancement - which, of course, takes at least a thousand years.

So, while someone someday will likely have to worry about this, we and our children's children's children etc. will all be long gone before our eyes become alien like and our heads appear to jut strangely forward from our bodies - which now feature oddly flattened and strikingly unattractive backsides.

Before I go on, let me just say that this was not keeping me up at night. It's something I pondered at odd moments.

3. Stubborn stains will often finally disappear from fabric first soaked in Biz Bleach and then placed wet upon a bush or on the grass. It's some sort of chemical reaction between the wet Bizzed fabric and chlorophyll.

4. The key to light as a feather shortbread lies in a determined whipping of the butter before the addition of all other ingredients. And I do mean determined, making this the hardest thing about this insanely easy and mouthwatering tea treat.

5. If you receive the biggest book order of your life ($1800!) to be shipped post haste to Australia but which requires you to first pay the outlandish shipping fee of $800 with your own credit card to a London based freight company reached only by email and the purchaser is oddly content with all this, you are most assuredly being scammed. And yes, I did realize this before the box was shipped. But, what a monstrous waste of time and energy!

6. Derby sage cheese - green in color and universally haled as fabulous at any Ploughman's Tea when served with hearty bread and real butter - is universally frowned upon when found in an omelet. Even when that hearty bread is on the side. I might also add that I don't think Kenny even gave my omelet a real chance.

7. I will quietly be labeled The Crazy Tea Lady if I continue to let the teapot roll about in my car and neglect for much longer the dried tea leaves still on the floor of the back seat.