The Return of the Ketchup Sandwich

  I'm not saying the Earl of Sandwich would have boasted of it, but I think my rosemary ketchup could signal the return of the ketchup sandwich.

  Spoon a dollop of the stuff onto the center of a buttered bread circle and, as if by magic, you've now a colorful sandwich offering...one with enough nostalgia to maybe finagle its way onto the tea table. Although, again, I'd recommend cloaking the word ketchup with "luscious tomato spread".

  You look troubled. I know what you're thinking. We need a garnish.

  Mustard immediately comes to mind but you walk a dangerous line when using a condiment to garnish a condiment sandwich.

  Perhaps a smattering of those canned French fried onions could remedy this? A cheddar heart cut from a tiny heart cookie cutter? A tear drop of cream cheese? 

  It was surely a mere oversight when The Chips neglected to mention the ketchup sandwich in their Rubber Biscuit song, recorded back in 1956. You're in luck in case you missed this little doo-wop number by not yet being born. The Blues Brother's did a rendition of it as only they can...

Luscious Tomato Spread

1 28-ounce can tomato puree

1/2 teaspoon Old Bay Seasoning

1 teaspoon beef base

1 6" stem fresh rosemary

1/2 cup brewed Keemun or Assam tea

1/4 cup Demerara sugar

1/4 cup sherry or brandy

  Put all into a crock pot and cook, uncovered, on low for six hours, stirring occasionally. Makes 1.5 cups.

And, here is my recipe for
Rosemary Skin Freshner

1/2 cup fresh rosemary, destemed

11/4 distilled water

1/2 lemon peel, no juice

  Put all in a small pan and bring to a low boil. Cover and let simmer for 35-40 or until the liquid is reduced to 1/2 cup. Add 1 tablespoon brandy. Keep in the refrigerator and use with a cotton pad to freshen hot and/or tired skin.

  I agree. Enough with the rosemary...for now anyway.

A Little Bit of Rosemary in My Life

  
  The occasional floods in the creek behind the house I grew up in had already claimed ten feet or so of the far back yard by the time we moved in. This meant the stone BBQ pit sat on the other side of the fence amid a tangle of Missouri flora.

  It was the perfect place for two imaginative grade school girls to pretend they were witches. Kathy Tsiopas and I spent a fair amount of one summer brewing potions there in a tin cauldron, using ingredients native to the creek and utensils we believed long forgotten by our mothers.

  We also tried making paper from the innards of a fallen tree in the woods on the other side of the creek. Our effort possessed a distinct flat bread character that didn't take well to pen or pencil.

    To this day I remained enamored of brews and potions of my own creation.

  It's likely why I'm also fond of old enameled pots, antique jars and unusual spoons.

    Lately, rosemary has my attention. Its odor gives me pause and finds me closing my eyes in order to truly relish the rosemary moment.

  For a woman with 55 waiting literally around the bend, rosemary holds great promise. It's said to firm and tone your skin. It's anti-aging and fiercely ravages those free radicals.

  Last week I had mentioned the rosemary busily releasing it's oil into a bottle of vodka on my kitchen window sill. My plan was to then freeze the vodka, minus the rosemary, so the rosemary oil would rise to the surface to be spooned off.

  However, I mixed up my recipes - a hazard when reading piles of loose paper while simultaneously stirring rosemary ketchup. Alcohol, of course, doesn't freeze. I've started over by putting more fresh rosemary into a jar filled with distilled water.

  At that almost 55 marker, I cringe at the thought of an alcohol-based skin toner. But what to do with this rosemary vodka? Hmmmmm...

Rosemary Martini
2 parts rosemary vodka
1 part Pear Brandy
splash of fresh lemon juice
rosemary sprig garnish

   More on skin care and rosemary as soon as I get it right.

  About that rosemary ketchup. It turned out pretty well but I want to try it one more time with a few other ingredients - including a single anchovy. I'll keep you posted on that, too.

   

 

A Flurry of Activity

There's a flurry of activity in my kitchen. There's:

... A Luscious Tomato Spread simmering in an open crock pot on the island counter.  

  I know it's perilously close to ketchup...alright, I confess, it's ketchup!

  You may have noticed this beloved condiment is rarely sighted during the tea hour. Thankfully, it's a writer's job to use all the tools of their trade, including poetic license - hence, Luscious Tomato Spread.

... Fresh rosemary is releasing it's oil into vodka on my window sill. More on that later this week.

... Strawberries are pickling in lavender and thyme in the refrigerator. Very Victorian and distinctly odd, yet intriguing when served with chunks of Havarti.

... An entire colony of Tapinoma Melanocephalum - more commonly known as the wildly irritating ghost ant - is hopefully drawing their last tiny breaths after ingesting the Borax-Sugar snack I've prepared for them. 

  Do I feel glee when checking on their enjoyment of my homemade treat? Alas, I cannot tell a lie. I'm toe-tappin gleeful.

  But I likely should stop the maniacal monologue I find myself engaging in.

Eat up my pretties!
Scurry on to your Queen!
Bwahahahaha.....

The Cure for What Ails You

   Forget the inspirational quotes (which, if FB is any judge, are multiplying exponentially). Forget the soothing cup of tea (I heard you gasping…). There’s a better answer for curing what ails you. 

   Synchronized swimming.   

   Don’t wait for our U.S. Olympians, Mary Killman and Maria Koroleva, either. Grab rubber nose clips and a friend and jump in the water. Warm up with a few “tubs” and “water wheels”. Try a “flamingo”. If you don’t yet feel giggles coming on, try executing a perfect “egg beater”. Trust me when I tell you a “boost” propels you out of the water and leaves your troubles behind.  

   My Portland friend, Wendy Kreiger, and I learned the value of synchro (Oh yeah baby, I know the lingo) when our girls were at the age where your mere existence is a source of embarassment. These two young beauties saw fit to harangue us over more money for food as we chatted poolside.

  I no longer remember how it occurred to us but the effect was immediate. The moment we went under and then surfaced - almost simultaneously - with our arms - expressively - arched over our heads, their shared look of horror was a gratifying moment never to be forgotten. They skedaddled and our funds remained intact.  

   We then spent the next 45-minutes as Million Dollar Mermaid wanna be’s. I laugh aloud to this day whenever I think of it. I am laughing now!   

   So try this. Who knows? You might soon find yourself first doing a bit of deck work to set the mood. You might even feel compelled to throw your hair in a bun and slather your head with Knox gelatin (the secret to their always perfect do’s).   

   Of course there’s a historical note! Ester Williams comes to mind when we think water ballerina, but it was Australian Annette Kellerman who paved the way in 1907 by swimming in a glass tank in New York’s Hippodrome. 

   During this visit she was also arrested for indecent exposure. Her form fitting, light colored suit was far beyond its time and more than some folks could bear.   

   She’s known to have said as they took her away, “How do you expect me to swim in more clothes than you put on a clothes line?"   

   The judge threw the case out of court.   

   This tidbit is part of my vintage fashion show, The Stories My Clothing Can Tell.