A Good Teacher Rocks

Imagine a shy, soft-spoken high school freshman sitting among mostly juniors and seniors in Mrs. Rethwisch's first hour speech class. See this young woman rise, clutching her notes, and walk to the podium. Terrified, she takes a breath and begins her well rehearsed and now long forgotten speech.

You can almost hear her, can't you? 

No? Apparently, few did. 

As she collects her papers, pleased beyond measure all is over and she can return to her seat, Mrs. Rethwisch asks, "Laurie, do you always speak so softly?"

The young woman's extended pause prompts a student to reply in the affirmative. 

Mrs. Rethwisch appears thoughtful. "Say good morning Mrs. Rethwisch. As loud as you can Laurie."

The young woman looks with longing at her chair before complying.

"Again please. Louder"

The young woman, now trembling slightly and sure the person advising "pretend everyone is naked" has never actually stood before an audience, again complies.

"Again please. Louder"

The young woman wonders why Mrs. Rethwisch isn't bursting into flames.

"GOOD MORNING, MRS. RETHWISCH!"

Mrs. Rethwisch smiles. "You may take your seat Laurie." 

Myself as the Siren and Lori Zinkl as the
Beautiful Woman, L1 and L2 respectively for
The Siren indie film project.

As it turns out, this was a pivotal moment. A good teacher rocks.  It's their job.

On The Siren

"Good Heavens, NO!"

That was my first response when film maker Mark List asked if I'd write a short indie film for our Fort Myers Beach Film Festival. A woman aiming at clearing her decks and bringing to light the book she's been working on for years has no business taking on a new project.

Or does she? Mark wanted a short lasting no more than ten minutes. That's barely four pages. How hard can it be?

"Good heavens...noooo..."

And then came the idea...which is generally followed by the knowing that all arguments henceforth will be ignored as hollow and unworthy of attention. The idea rules.

Perhaps you recall the 2002 horror movie, The Ring?

 

Creepy, eh? Yet, imagine a spoof where this disturbing character is confronted by a beautiful woman believing her fiance's heart now belongs to the other. What if the beautiful woman is oblivious to the other's desperate need of hot soapy water, moisturizer, and a soul? 

Because I saw such potential for farce, I immediately began writing. I also began practicing both the walk and crawl you just observed. My husband quickly asked me to cease with such walking and crawling so I must assume I had that down pat.

I always wanted to play a creepy part. Although, I've long imagined this creepy part would be a Victorian ghost story sort of character - all stern and dressed in black while exuding mysterious undercurrents of evil.

Yet ideas that rule also morph. Mark and I decided our creepy character should be less reminiscent of The Ring and more like that of a siren...from Estero Bay. 

We had to keep it local!

Out went the perfected Ring walk/crawl and in washed a more fluid sort of move. Fluid and creepy is hard, btw. They don't naturally marry well.

The second major shift occurred once the beautiful woman, Lori Zinkl, entered the picture. Her take on her character and the magnificence with which she can play a b_ _ _ _  suddenly made for less farce and more horror.

So I think we've a short horror flick rimmed with slight, wicked humor. But, as I'm a complete newbie on this front, I won't know for sure until I see the dailies and what Mark plans to do with them.

Yep...dailies. Love learning new words and then tossing them about town.

Lobster Thoughts

Lobster thoughts continue to plague me during daylight hours.

I'm a huge fan of this yummy crustacean but prefer it be flirting with my melted butter rather than walking past me on a leash as mentioned in my I Resemble That Remark post of October 3rd.

 Although in that post I mention Oscar Wilde as engaging in this curious activity, he wasn't the first. Gérard de Nerval (1808 – 1855), a French poet and essayist, had a pet lobster named Thibault which he walked at the end of a blue silk ribbon in Paris' Palais Royal Garden.  Mr. Nerval is known to have said:

"Why should a lobster be any more ridiculous than a dog? ...or a cat, or a gazelle, or a lion, or any other animal that one chooses to take for a walk? I have a liking for lobsters. They are peaceful, serious creatures. They know the secrets of the sea, they don't bark, and they don't gnaw upon one's monadic privacy like dogs do." 


While he does make several excellent points, I've news for this gentleman. Any animal whose brain is in its throat, whose teeth are in its stomach, who hears with his legs and tastes with his feet leans upon the ridiculous. And if truth be told, lobsters are peaceful only when they've lots of elbow room. Crowd them even the slightest and they exhibit less peaceful and more cannibalistic qualities.

I'm just not seeing them as pet worthy. Those who do perhaps don't realize lobsters are giant sea insects related to woodlice, barnacles and water fleas. With this information in hand, strolling about with one could be termed macabre. It makes you wonder why we never saw Wednesday Adams walking a lobster.

Created by Salvidor Dali in 1936, now in the Tate Gallery

Leave it to Salvidor Dali to toss his art into this lobster pot. Lobsters are featured in a number of his works as he found them - and the telephone - to have strong sexual connotations. And the two together? I imagine the day he thought of a lobster phone was especially...memorable. For myself? I'm not on board with a lobster phone either.

And unlike Wallace Simpson, the American divorcee who married the Duke of Windsor amid wild scandal in 1937, you won't see me donning a dress plastered with a huge lobster and scatterings of parsley sprigs.

Dress created by Elsa Schiaparelli, 1937

Wallace Simpson, the Duchess of Windsor (1895-1986),
Photo by Cecil Beaton (1904-80). UK, early 20th century.

Part of me cringes at devoting so much mental energy to them, but lobsters do seem to capture the imagination. At least I'm not dreaming of them so, according to most dream dictionaries, I'm free of unresolved problems. 

Are you thinking my fun quota is low? If that were true, would I ask these questions:

How long does it take a lobster to run a marathon?
A shell of a long time!

Where does a lobster keep his clothes?
In the clawset!

But why is he afraid to go in there to get them?
Because he’s clawstrophobic!

Lastly, now that I think on it, lobsters are rather serious looking. Or maybe scholarly? What DO they know?

Mark my words. The next time you chance upon a lobster, you're going to look into his eyes. You simply won't be able to help yourself.

Oh...and mark your calendars! June 15th is National Lobster Day. Whichever way you fly...butter or leash, don't let this day slip by you.